Your Eyes Open
by The Steppy One
Summary: Inspired by a beautiful song. Very vague references to 'Sanctuary in my Eyes' but not necessary that you read that first. RonHermione angst post war.


**I heard this song and instantly fell in love with it. I suggest you listen to it, it's beautiful. It inspired me to write an angsty one-shot, and I thought I'd get ot done in a couple of nights. That was two weeks ago! I just wanted to make sure I did the song justice, hopefully those of you who know the song or listen to it will think so.**

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognise I don't own, anything you don't I do!**

**Please let me know what you think, it would be much appreciated with this one. Thank you.**

**Step ;) **

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_**Look Around  
**__(lyrics Jason Pebworth)_

_Baby, wake up.  
__Baby, come see.  
__And if you lose your way,  
__Just hold on to me.  
__The flames have all died out,  
__Our hearts are still beating.  
__The rain is gone,  
__The rain is gone._

_Just look around._

I sat up like I had been electrocuted, my heart hammering beneath my ribs. I coughed up all the dust that found its way into my lungs and screwed my eyes up as I stumbled to my feet. I had to find her, I had to see her.

I set off running in any direction, desperately looking for her. It was eerily silent, so different from earlier on. The screams had been sickening. I stopped running; my lungs not letting me carry on. I looked around, and that's when I saw her on the floor, her arms and legs at every angle, like she had fallen without being able to stop herself landing awkwardly. Like she had fallen after being rendered unconscious.

A sob caught in my throat as I looked down at her, I fell to my knees and prayed that she hadn't been taken away from me. But then I saw her chest rise and fall; she was breathing. I thanked whoever was listening and sank to my knees next to her.

I shook her shoulder gently and her eyes fluttered open. After a few seconds they focused on mine.

'That's it Hermione, wake up for me, please. I need you to wake up.'

Her eyes fell closed, I started to panic slightly, was she injured? Was she hurt?

'Hermione come on, you need to wake up.'

She opened her eyes again and I took my chance to pull her into a sitting position. She fell against me and I held her. If truth be told I squeezed her too tight, but I didn't care, I needed her to be close to me. I needed to feel that she was alive.

She pulled me to her and I shuddered in relief and from the cold. I wanted to cry there and then, but I told myself I had to be strong, there were other things to deal with.

I pulled her to her feet and let go of her. She swayed dangerously, and I could see the confusion in her eyes.

'What…' she started, but she didn't get any further.

'I don't know, let's go and have a look. We need to know.'

'I…I don't think I can…'

I moved next to her and wrapped my arm around her, tucking her under my arm. She fitted perfectly.

'Yes you can, just lean on me.'

I walked us slowly to where…to where there were most bodies on the ground.

Hermione whimpered when she recognised Kingsley, and when she realised he was dead. Eyes shut to the world.

'I…I need to check…' I stammered.

I let go of her and she wobbled again, but managed to find her balance. I knelt down beside him and checked for a pulse. There was none, so I covered him with his cloak.

Hermione let out another sob and I held her as the tears fell from her eyes.

'Come on, we've got to keep going. Let's find Harry.'

She wouldn't stop staring at Kingsley's body, and it was the same when we passed more bodies, three Aurors we knew, and then…and then Remus.

He was lying much like Hermione had been, but he was face down, eyes closed to all around him. I tried to calm myself with the thought that he was somewhere better now. It worked for the time being.

Hermione had dissolved into a mad panic, but I managed – somehow – to keep her moving, and I kept telling her to breathe. Her sobs wracked through her and I tried to control them, but I couldn't, not without stopping and physically holding her still. We had to keep moving; I didn't know what would happen when we stopped.

We walked for a few minutes. I had to stop checking those who had fallen; Hermione got worse every time I did. It was killing me seeing her like this, I felt so helpless. Harry would help; the two of us would be able to calm her down.

We walked a bit further and that's when I saw Ginny. She was lying on the ground, but she wasn't alone, she was huddled over someone. It was Harry.

'Gin!' I called, relieved to have found both her and Harry.

The wind ruffled her hair.

I hurried forward as fast as I could while still holding onto Hermione.

'Come on, we've found them. Look Hermione, it's Harry and Ginny!'

We walked closer to them, but I slowed down as we got to them. Something in my heart was telling me to stop. Hermione had no choice but to stop with me, I was holding her too tight for her to carry on. But she struggled against my hold.

I was distracted by my sister's form on the floor and Hermione broke free.

A muffled squeak came from her as she fell down next to Harry and Ginny; she brushed the hair out of Ginny's eyes and said her name quietly.

After a few seconds without response from my sister, she shook Harry's shoulder and called out his name, louder than she had Ginny's. Again she got no response and my heart sank. The logical part of my brain was telling me they were just hurt and therefore wouldn't wake up because their bodies needed time to recover.

But there was this other part of my brain that wouldn't accept that as fact. It was the part that could see Hermione's shoulders shaking, yes she had been shaking a huge amount before we'd found them, but it was a different type of movement, it was the type of movement that accompanied uncontrollable sobbing.

'_Their eyes are CLOSED!'_ she screamed at the night sky.

Her screams shook through me and I lunged forward and held onto her, pulling her away from the two forms on the ground. I placed her gently on the ground a few feet from them and she collapsed in a heap, in a way I was glad, it would make my next job a hell of a lot easier.

I knelt down next to my sister and gently pressed my fingers into the side of her neck hoping to feel something…anything…

But I didn't. There wasn't anything there. My baby sister was dead.

What Hermione had screamed was true, her eyes were closed to the horrors around her, I just hope she hadn't seen too many of them before she died.

I brushed the final strands off her face and gave her a final kiss goodnight.

'Night Gin,' I croaked out. 'Sweet Dreams.'

My tears fell into her hair. I wanted to look at her all night, to tell her the things she wouldn't let me say before we arrived here. She was determined we would be able to tell each other all we wanted when we were all safe and well. When we were all back home.

Part of me was starting to shut down, starting to grieve for my sister and friends who were lying around me, but the part of me which was painfully aware of Hermione's sobs and screams a little behind me, made me move around my sister and kneel next to Harry.

Before I felt for his pulse I looked at him. There was dried blood around his nose and a bruise had formed around his scar making it stand out more than ever.

I looked down at my best friend and finally saw what was staring me in the face. I didn't need to feel for his pulse. I knew he and Ginny were stood side by side, helping each other come to terms with what had happened, somewhere very far from here. As much as it hurt knowing I would never speak to either of them again, it comforted me to know that they were together, wherever they were. Strange and…horrible as it may seem, I think it might have been worse if one had died and left the other alone. This way they were together for eternity.

I leant forward and rested my forehead against his, the coldness of his skin making the reality of his death hit home a little bit deeper.

I pulled back and grasped his right hand in mine.

'Cheers mate,' I whispered. 'Take care of her for me.'

I stood up and walked over to Hermione, I picked her up with ease and stopped to take one more look around me. I sighed a shaky breath, still – I don't know how – managing to keep my sobs under control. I raised my eyes to the sky, searching desperately for just one dot of light. The clouds were covering most of the sky, but after I'd turned round I found a gap in the clouds and two stars shone brightly above me.

With tears streaming down my face I stared at them.

'Charlie…George…h…help them find their way, p…please. Help them.'

_Our time is not up,  
__Our place is in the sun.  
__So just wipe the ashes from your eyes, Girl-  
__There's so much work to be done.  
__And there's no way to be sure,  
__Just be sure to keep breathing.  
__We'll just keep movin' on,  
__we'll keep movin' on._

_And look around._

How could I celebrate the resolution of something we'd been working so hard to complete for two years, when there'd been so much lost in the process? How could I smile with joy because everyone around me was finally safe, when there was too much space around me because of those who had died?

It was days later before I had the chance to see Hermione properly. She had been sedated and was in St. Mungo's. I was assured it was a temporary measure, she had refused to sleep and had collapsed due to exhaustion, the Healers were merely making her do what she refused to let herself do; sleep.

The day after it was all over, I expected her to wake up and be back to the same Hermione that she had been before the massacre, but she hadn't slept. I had been at the Ministry answering question upon question about what had happened that night. When they had finally released me I had gone home to find Hermione sat in the dark in the lounge. She hadn't looked at me when I had tried to tell her to go to bed, and had just sat there, huddled up, when I had tried to kiss her goodnight.

I was then dragged back into the Ministry for yet more questioning and the next thing I knew, I was stood over Hermione while she laid in a hospital bed.

I had busied myself with helping in any way I could. I didn't want to have to deal with the fact that Hermione wasn't capable of coping with what we had been through. I had always taken it as a given, that whatever happened, we would carry on. I didn't want to accept that Hermione couldn't.

Finally I went to see her. I was so tired but I had to see her. She was still in her potion-induced sleep, but it had been a few hours since the Healers had given her the last dose. I carefully climbed onto the bed and lay down next to her. I started to brush the hair from her eyes, but the memory of the last time I did that came back to me and I had to stop. If Hermione woke up I couldn't let her see me upset. She didn't need that on top of everything else.

I tried to resist the waves of tiredness that kept washing over me but after a few minutes of just looking at Hermione I had to shut my eyes.

I was awoken by movement and a thump against the floor, then a bloodcurdling scream.

'NO! _His eyes are shut!_ HIS EYES ARE SHUT!'

I scrambled off the bed towards Hermione who was fighting with the curtains that surrounded her cubicle. As she managed to find the way out I grabbed hold of her arm and pull her towards me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me, but she struggled against me and screamed into my chest. I loosened my grip slightly and shifted my arms so I had hold of her shoulders.

'Hermione look at me! My eye are open, I'm here. I'll always be here. Always. _Look at me_!'

Eventually she stopped looking away from me and slowly turned her head to look at me.

'See,' I whispered. 'My eyes are open and looking at you.'

She took a deep breath and I thought she was calming down, but I was wrong, it was the start of a panic attack.

She started to wheeze as her throat became constricted and new tears formed in her eyes.

'No…don't…please don't panic Hermione, calm down for me please.'

As much as I begged her to not struggle or panic, she continued to do so, and the disturbance it caused alerted the Healers to her behaviour.

They surrounded us and pulled her off me.

'No…don't take her away…'

I'm not sure if I was heard in the commotion. They waved their wands over her and she fell unconscious.

'No…please…' I said, this time making sure I was heard, but my voice shook, so I tried to calm myself.

'How can she get better if…if you send her to sleep every time she…every time she panics?'

Tears fell from my eyes but I hastily wiped them away.

'We're only doing what's best for Miss Granger, Mister Weasley,' one of the Healers said in my direction.

'How can keeping her unconscious be what's best for her? She can't face what's haunting her if you keep putting her to sleep!'

I'd raised my voice more than I had meant to.

'Mister Weasley, please calm down. Miss Gra-'

'Call her Hermione,' I said calmly but with purpose.

The Healer sighed. 'Hermione isn't ready to face what she went through that night.'

'How do you know that? She only panicked because I was asleep and she thought I was…If I'd been awake I could have talked her through it. I know I could.'

The Healer looked at me sympathetically.

'Look, Mist-'

'Ron.'

'Okay then, Ron, Hermione will be out for an hour, that's how long the spell lasts. I'll make it so you're allowed in her cubicle at the time she's to wake, but only if you promise not to fall asleep.'

The Healer gave a smile and I found myself reciprocating.

'Have you had much sleep Ron?'

I shook my head. 'No, only the odd hour over the last few days. There just so much…_stuff_…to sort.'

Images of funeral parlours, headstones and coffins flowed through my brain. There were so many, _too_ many funerals to arrange, and the Ministry wanted to talk to me tomorrow, _again_.

I sighed and the Healer looked at me with pity in his eyes.

'I can arrange for you to spend the next hour in one of the rooms kept aside for relatives. There's a bed in there and you can have a sleep. In fact I insist on it.'

'But what about-'

'I'll come and get you before she's due to wake up. Don't worry.'

'Thanks. I think I will, if it's not too much trouble.'

'Not at all.'

Her eyes fluttered open and I made sure mine were the first thing she saw.

'Hermione, it's me. It's Ron. I'm here, there's no reason to be scared. I'm here for you.'

It took a few seconds for her to recognise me, but after what felt like forever, her eyes softened.

'Ron?' she said in barely a whisper.

'Yeah…'

'You-…You're here.'

'Always. How are you er…how are you feeling?'

I don't know what I was expecting, but I wasn't expecting her next comment, not yet anyway.

'They're dead Ron. Harry…Ginny, they're dead.'

I sighed deeply. 'I know they are,' I whispered.

'Why?'

How could I answer that?

'I don't know Hermione, I just don't know. But they're together, where…wherever they are, they're together.'

'They should be _here_!' she said in a strangled squeak.

'I know…I know.'

_We're not o.k.  
__But, Baby- we're alright.  
__So just make love to the day,  
__And hold each other tight.  
__Just remember your song,  
__Don't forget to keep singing.  
__Cause our love is a bomb.  
__Our love is a bomb._

_Just look around._

We fell into a pattern, not a healthy one, but still, one that got us through the day…somehow…

When we went to bed I had to wait until Hermione fell asleep before I could, it was the only way I could guarantee that she'd sleep. She didn't need the image of me unconscious being the last that she saw before she drifted into her mind's eye. Sometimes it meant I fell asleep at the Ministry, (Dad had got me an office job there for the time being, something to take my mind off everything else) but no one really minded, they understood. Well, they said they did, I'm not sure if anyone could really understand.

When I went home I usually found her like I had the night after it all happened. Sat huddled up in her room, our room.

It was a testament to how bad things were that we were sharing a room in the Burrow. Everyone knew she needed me to help her sleep. And I needed her, however upset and traumatised she was, she was my normality, my constant.

But one day when I arrived home she wasn't in the house, I checked every room and started to panic when I didn't find her. It was pouring with rain outside, ridiculously hard, but something told me she was out in it.

I squinted out the window, trying to see any sign of her. I was about to turn away when I saw movement, it was her.

'Oh, Hermione!' I said in a sigh.

I sprinted out the door, trying to ignore the rain that was stinging my eyes and soaking my robes through. When I caught up to her, I stopped behind her, waiting for her to turn around and acknowledge me.

But she didn't, not before I broke the silence between us.

'Hermione, why are you out in the rain? You'll catch pneumonia if you don't go inside soon.'

I wanted my tone to be soft and comforting, but the noise the rain was making made it impossible for me to not raise my voice.

'If I stand in the rain, I'm with them,' she replied simply.

'What do you mean?' I asked.

She didn't reply, apparently she thought her short sentence was explanation enough.

I desperately tried to work out what she meant. After a minute of putting things together in my mind I realised what she meant. She was with them, before they died and it had been pouring down, much like it was now, and that was the last time she saw them alive.

I tried not to get angry with her, but it was hard. I couldn't understand why she was being so…un-Hermione like about…about everything. Of course I knew everyone grieved in their own way, but I hadn't see anyone else acting like she was. I hadn't seen anyone else barely say more than two sentences a day for weeks on end. I couldn't cope anymore.

'Why do you prefer their company to mine? They aren't here anymore, but I am, and I need you with me. I know it's selfish but I hate it when you're off with them and not with me.'

I didn't even know if I was making sense but I found the words just falling out of my mouth.

'You're not the only one who misses them you know. Not a day goes by when I don't have this pain in my stomach at the thought I won't ever say anything to them again, never mind hear them say things back to me. And now…now you're doing the same.'

For once I didn't want the rain to hide my tears, I wanted to show her how much I was hurting. It was my last resort.

Still she did nothing. I moved around her so I could look into her eyes. I was startled by how alive they looked, a huge contrast to the way I'd seen them recently. I knew why they were like that though; she was remembering them. Remembering them before they died.

'They died fighting so those who survived would have _a life_, Hermione. That's why we were _all_ there, we knew there was a risk we would die that night, but we wouldn't- _couldn't_ let that stop us, not with what was at stake. We understood that. We knew we would lose people; it was ridiculous to think that everyone we cared for would come out of the whole thing alive. We _knew_ that.'

She was staring right through me.

'Are you even listening to me?' I said, my voice cracking as I did so.

'I left them,' she said simply. 'They told me to leave them and to help others. If I'd stayed with them they might have survived.'

Her voice was unnervingly steady as she spoke but that fact didn't really register, I was still stunned that she was talking to me.

'Okay,' I said as I moved a step closer to her. 'What did you do when you left them, who did you go and help?'

She looked at the floor as she remembered what she had been doing.

'I went to help your dad, he was duelling a Death Eater and was hurt. He needed help.'

'So you left them and saved my dad's life. You did the right thing. What did you do after that.'

'I tried to get back to them, but Ginny looked at me and pointed behind me. She told me to go and help the others still fighting.'

'Again, you did the right thing. Look Hermione-'

I took a huge breath, I hadn't noticed the rain since she'd started speaking, and it slowly dripped off my nose. 'If you refuse to carry on with life and spend all day every day hiding away from me and everyone who cares about you, then they will have died for nothing. They died so we could be free. If someone had gone up to them, or either of us for that matter, and said that the wizarding world could be free if we sacrificed ourselves, every single one of us would have done it. You know that, I know that, and they knew that. If you refuse to live life like we planned then…then I…I don't know what to do. They don't want this Hermione. I know they don't.'

I fell silent and noticed her eyes were red. I presumed she was crying, the rain wouldn't let me be sure of the fact.

'You don't like it when people have their eyes closed to you, but you need to open your eyes to what's around you. It's our time to be free. Don't walk away from all we fought for.'

I turned and walked away from her, even though it physically hurt me to do so. I carried on until I was in the house. I dried myself in an instant and went into the lounge. There was no one else in there so I curled up on the sofa and shut my eyes. A few more tears escaped them before I fell asleep.

_Keep your eyes open, it's alright.  
__Keep your eyes open, it's alright.  
__Make better years from bitter days-  
__This is our time, This is our place.  
__This is our time, To live,_

_Just look around._

I rolled over, expecting to feel nothing in the space in front of me. The last thing I knew, I was on the sofa, and leaning forward would not be a good idea.

I let my arm flop down but was shocked when it landed on something solid. Something furry and solid, no, it wasn't furry it was…_grass_?

I opened my eyes but shut them when the sun stung my eyes.

Wait…sun? Last thing I knew it was pouring with rain! I rolled onto my back and sat up carefully. I opened my eyes carefully so they could adjust to the sunlight and squinted around me. I was sat near to where we had spoken – well, where I had spoken to Hermione earlier, or was I? Was this a dream? Or a spell of some sort?

I heard someone clear their throat behind me, I recognised the sound, of course I did. My heart jumped. It was Hermione.

'Hi,' she said simply.

I tried to turn around calmly but I don't think I pulled it off.

I looked at her and she looked much like the last time I had seen her, except she wasn't wet through.

'What's going on?' I asked in a whisper.

'I er…' she started. I tried not to sigh in relief that she was finally talking to me. 'I brought you outside when the rain stopped. I hope you don't mind. Don't worry about the ground being wet, I made sure I dried it properly before I put you there.'

The thought hadn't even crossed my mind.

'I don't mind at all, but…'

'But what?'

'Is this real, or is it a dream? I'm just…not quite sure.'

'It's real.'

'Oh, okay.'

She looked down at her hands which were lying in her lap. I decided to prompt her into talking.

'When did it stop raining?'

'Oh er…about twenty minutes ago, I brought you out just after, the sun was too good to miss.'

'Just as a matter of interest, how did you bring me out?'

'Levitation.'

I smiled, no wonder I didn't wake up, a nice smooth flight wasn't going to give me cause for concern whilst I was asleep, that and I was absolutely exhausted. I'm wide-awake now though.

'So why did you bring me out here?'

'I knew you'd want to be in the sun, you like lying in the sun, we used to…when we could…even though you burn something chronic when you're not careful.'

She smiled and my heart melted, it had been a long time since I'd seen that smile, _any_ smile from her.

'You er…you don't mind that I was asleep?' I asked, not really wanting to bring up that subject, but something in my brain made me do it.

'No, you need your sleep. You looked…peaceful.'

'Hermione, I'm sorry I went on at you before, I-'

'No, you were right to. And you were right in what you said.'

I sighed in relief and she looked into my eyes as I did.

'You were worried?' she asked.

'Well, I was just concerned that it came across like I was past caring. Believe me I'm not, it's because I care so damn much that I said it at all. But still, I think it was a bit harsh, what I said.'

'It wasn't, it was…needed. I needed to hear a voice other than my own or…theirs.'

'What were they saying to you?'

'I'm not…hearing them now…or anything…I just couldn't stop thinking over…over conversations we'd had in the past. Things we'd said to each other the night before it…it happened.'

'I hear them too you know. I do the same thing. I wanted to remember them with you but…'

'But I wouldn't talk to you.'

I went to argue the point even though it was true but she stopped me.

'It's okay Ron, you don't have to lie to make me feel better. I know how I've been behaving and I know it's been extremely hard on you. I knew it, but I couldn't think past myself, at any point during the last…however long it's been. But what you said earlier made me realise that you were suffering the same.'

I looked at her, not quite knowing what to say.

'I realised that whilst I was grieving, you haven't had chance to, and that's not fair. You've been too worried about me to stop and think about what's happened properly, to fully contemplate how things are going to be from now on.'

Her words hit me hard but I knew they were all true. I hadn't had chance to grieve, I'd been too bothered about Hermione and how everyone else was coping. Tears filled my eyes and I didn't try in any way to stop them falling.

'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I wasn't there for you when you needed me. You took care of me, and I pushed you away, you needed me to take care of you but I didn't. I'm truly sorry.'

I sobbed openly and she did something I'd needed for a long time, she shuffled over to me and hugged me. As soon as she did I wrapped my arms around her and held onto her. I was slightly concerned about how thin she felt, hopefully that would get better now, along with a lot of other things. I cried into her shoulder and she stroked my hair.

I let out all my anger, frustration, and hurt I'd tried to keep in over the time she'd kept herself away from me. It hurt, of course it did, but I felt so much better for it.

'I'm sorry,' she kept whispering into my ear. 'I won't leave you again, for as long as we are together. We'll help each other through anything else the world throws at us.'

I tried to pull back but she stopped me.

'You're not done yet,' she said simply. 'You're not moving until you're done.'

'I…I could be…be a while,' I managed to stammer through my sobs.

'I told you; I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay.'

And she was. She had opened her eyes to the new world around us, and we took our first tentative steps into it together. This was our time. We would make their deaths our reason for getting up in the morning.

This was our time.

_Keep your eyes open, it's alright.  
__Keep your eyes open, it's alright.  
__Make better years from bitter days-  
__This is our time, This is our place.  
__This is our time, To live,_

_Just look around._


End file.
